


WHAT IN THE WIZARDING WORLD!?!?

by BsWritingFriends



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Harry Potter - Fandom, Other - Fandom, Sherlock Holmes - fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not a Love Story, Other, Tags May Change, Tags to be added, Underage Character(s), Underage Drinking, its a fun story i swear, part of the harry potter universe but not in the orginal books, sorry if formatting is weird
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-01-31 09:44:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21444187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BsWritingFriends/pseuds/BsWritingFriends
Summary: Everything is semi-normal after harry potter left Hogwarts, as normal as a wizarding school could be. Until one group of kids becomes friends at Hogwarts and cause general madness. A fun story about friendship and fun with a bit of crazy mixed in.
Relationships: Close Friends - Relationship, No Romantic Relationship(s), who needs sex and romance when you got dumbasses with magic
Kudos: 3





	1. WHAT THE WIZARDING FUCK?!?!?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm Mod: Drunkuncle the writer of this lovely story! Please enjoy! More chapters to come!  
Editing and foreign languages done by Mod: BookMom

Everywhere boys and girls are excited about their new life at Hogwarts. Little did they know that the next seven years of Hogwarts would be some of the most dramatic. The reason behind the difficulty has to do with ten new wizards and witches, which by an unfortunate twist of fate became friends. If God existed he would have frowned greatly on the creation of these kids. He also would have objected greatly to their friendship.

The most chaotic of the bunch is currently asleep on the train. Everything about him radiates chaos. His messy red hair, his old worn robes, the freckles dotting his face, his painted nails and his cat. The cat was sleeping peacefully in its carrier and ignoring the hustle-bustle of the train. The boy is called Stephen, by his brother and anyone who cares for him. Stephen thinks he radiates  _ some  _ sort of cool. When in reality he is a chaotic and awkward disaster.

He wakes up with a jolt to knocking. Two people are standing in the doorway. A dark-skinned girl with glasses is the first one to speak.

"Hey, we’re gonna sit here. Everywhere else is filled with asshats and illiterate scum." She looked around the compartment for a moment before extending her hand. "Hi I'm Kennedy have you seen the movie The Visit?"

"Uh... Hi, I'm Stephen and no I haven't seen The Visit." Stephen said, shaking Kennedy's hand.

"Oh, well, It's a good movie, I suggest you watch it."

Next was the boy. He had short hair and the air of an energetic goofball. He shook hands with Stephen excitedly 

"Hi! I'm Andy!" 

"Nice to meet you, Andy!"

Andy and Kennedy sat across from Stephen. 

"I'm so excited! I have been since they told me I was a wizard a week ago. " 

"So am I ! I read the entirety of Hogwarts: a history!"

"You two are both muggle-borns?" Stephen said, thinking hard about something in particular.

"Yeah. When I was a baby I set my crib on fire. My parents were just waiting for the letter in all honesty." Andy said, he looked like he was vibrating in place. 

"It surprised my VERY Christian dad." 

It should be noted that Stephen can be a bit of an asshole sometimes. But he is an asshole for the right reasons. He has a plan right now to prove whether or not they are worth his friendship. This is gonna be a long shot but he'll give it a try.

"What's a Christian?" Kennedy and Andy looked on in horror.

"How do you not know what Christianity is?" Andy said softly, looking very concerned.

"I'm a pureblood. From the Rhienphal family. "

"That still doesn't change the fact that you don't know who God is!" Kennedy shouted with the force of a thousand suns.

"Who's a god?"

"Basically he is a guy who lives in the clouds, and made us for fun," Andy said while looking at Kennedy like she’s a ticking time bomb.

"Sounds weird."

"Do you know what Vine is?" Kennedy said, pulling out her iPhone (charmed to work in the magical world).

"Oh yeah, they grow all over the manor." So far, so good.

Kennedy and Andy let out a collective groan. Barely a nano-second had passed they moved the cat carrier and had Stephen sandwiched between them. These people are definitely worth being friends with, Stephen thought as the first Vine rolled. They would explain a lot of things about muggle-tech that he already knew. But, Stephen always thought a good friend can be found when they teach you about their world.

A few minutes later and they can now be found quoting Vines. Much to the dismay of the sleepy kitty in the carrier. They had changed into their robes a while ago and were surrounded by candy wrappers. After realizing that they had yet to try the glory which is chocolate frogs Stephen bought every single item in the cart. Andy and Stephen are eating Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. Stephen is realizing it is a bad idea. Is he going to keep eating them? Why yes, yes he is.

"I'm so done!" Stephen said after getting a vomit flavored bean. "If I don't get a good bean I'm yeeting this out the window." He pops an orange bean in his mouth. His face immediately scrunches up in disgust. Andy starts laughing as he struggles to get another bean out from the container. Kennedy, who  _ had _ been busy reading, decides it would be best to intervene. 

"Guys it's time to leave."

"No, I have to get one good bean!" Stephen complained, still struggling with the container. Kennedy grabs the container and shakes out a single bean.

"Eat this and then we have to go."

Stephen eyed the brown bean suspiciously but ate it anyway. He looked up at Kennedy in shock. It tasted like chocolate. Kennedy then promptly forced Stephen from the train dragging their luggage behind them. Kennedy and Stephen stared at the leathery wings of the reptilian horses pulling the carriages. Andy saw nothing but carriages getting pulled by air.

" Wow! How are they getting pulled?"

"Wait don't you-" Stephen held up a hand silencing her. It's best to let the innocent wonder.

"What were you saying??"

"Oh, nothing." Kennedy lowered her voice. "Stephen, why can I see them but he can't?"

"We have both seen someone die. You can only see them after you've seen someone die."

"Oh. That makes sense. Why are they like that? How do they work? Is it something the horses do or is it our perception?"

"Ravenclaw."

"What?"

"You're gonna be in Ravenclaw."

"How do those horse things work!?!"

"I have no clue."

"UGH!! You disappoint me!"

Stephen looks in the crowd of first years and spots a familiar face. 

"Follow me."

Kennedy and Andy both followed him. Stephen walked towards a group of people. He seemed to have a particular focus on a tall boy with long brown hair. The boy was talking to a brown-haired girl with glasses and an air of sophistication. The girl is quietly eyeing a short girl with brown hair and a short boy with blonde hair. She was regarding them with a curiosity you would have if a bomb was about to explode. Stephen ran towards the tallboy. 

"You," Stephen replied with suspicion and narrowed eyes.

"You." Said the boy with equal amounts of suspicion. Before they both start laughing.

"It's safe to assume you two know each other," Andy said before immediately getting distracted. 

"Yeah, this shit stain here is my brother!"

"Hey if anyone's the shit stain you are!" The brown-haired girl with glasses slapped the boy and Stephen on the back of the head.

"Where are your manners! If you weren't raised in a barn, you would know to introduce your guests first before talking!" Smoothing out her robe the girl gave proper introductions. "I'm Emma Abbruzzese and sad to say I'm distantly related to these idiotas." She pointed to the short boy and girl "The boy is Shawn and the girl is Bree, They are twins as well. I see you have already been contaminated by Stephen's presence. The tall one is his twin brother Sebastian. Everyone calls him Abs or Seb."

"Abs?" Kennedy asked 

"It will make sense in a minute," Sebastian said

"Oh well, guys this is Kennedy and Andy. I met them on the train."

"Wait a minute," Kennedy called attention to herself. "Do you guys know what Christianity is? More importantly, do you know what Vine is?" Everyone suddenly looked at Kennedy like she had grown a hundred extra heads. Except for Andy who now looked confused and Stephen who looked guilty yet strangely proud.

"We know what it is." Sebastian's face suddenly dawned with realization. "Oh, Stephen again?"

"What? What happened?" Andy was even more confused than when it started.

"He does this from time to time. He says it's to judge whether or not someone is friend worthy. He can be kind of an asshole but he's our asshole." Sebastian places a protective hand on Stephens's shoulder. Kennedy is pissed.

"This was I test I swear to god I'll-"

"While Stephen does deserve a scolding we need to get to the boats." Emma turned and walked toward the boats. Everyone followed her because she was holding all the collective brain cells at this time. 

Before they even started rowing Bree's arms felt tired. Maybe it is because the most physical exercise she has done in her life is breathing. Shawn, on the other hand, was making up for his twin sister by rowing the boat, but doing it wrong. 

"Why do we have to do this ?"

"For aesthetic Bree."

"Fuck the aesthetic!"

"You're just mad cause you don't have an aesthetic." Under normal circumstances, with normal people, with a normal I.Q., they wouldn't have fought. But because they are not normal and have a solid half a brain cell between them, they fight.

No one is sure who lunged first. Maybe they both lunged at the same and met in the middle. Next thing you know they had accidentally bumped into another boat. This splashed a girl with long black curly hair in the face leaving Emma to deal with the aftermath.

"Watch it fuck wads!"

"Sorry!" 

"You fucking better be! I'll eat your face!"

"But then I wouldn't have a face," Andy whispered terrified yet oddly non-concerned. 

Kennedy was able to get Shawn and Stephen was able to somewhat hold Bree, who was thrashing around like a dog with rabies.

"Bree stop it!"

"No, I'm gonna kill Shawn!"

"How did this start anyway?" Kennedy asked no one in particular. She just wanted an answer. Shawn was the one who replied.

"I said she had no aesthetic."

"Bree stop it!" Bree still struggled against Stephen, "I'll help you with your homework for a month." With that Bree automatically stopped struggling.

"You can let go of me now. I won't attack Shawn."

"I won't let go until both of you apologize to each other."

"I'm not doing that."

"Yeah, I'm not either."

"Fine." 

Kennedy and Stephen both let them go. But continued to look at them suspiciously for the rest of the boat ride. 

When they entered the castle wizard-born and muggle-born were both starstruck. They caught a glimmer of the moving staircases, Andy knocked into a suit of armor who replied to his apology, and Stephen swore he saw a ghost. He also swears that the ghost winked at him before leaving.

They are greeted by a tall, lanky man, with red hair and round glasses. No one knows why but he looks strangely familiar and yet not familiar at all. 

"Hello everyone!" He said with enthusiasm, "I'm Mr. Murphy, the transfiguration teacher here at Hogwarts. I'm delighted to have you all in my class this year. For now, though I'm going to tell you about the houses here at Hogwarts. There is my personal favorite house Ravenclaw, yet again I'm totally biased. Ravenclaw values wit and learning. Gryffindor values courage and bravery. Slytherin values ambition and cunning. Then there is Hufflepuff who values friendship and hard work. Hufflepuff's are also really good finders. Now we are going to go inside the mess hall to be sorted into your houses."

They head to the mess hall. There are four massive tables and four giant banners. There is a red banner with a lion, a green banner with a snake, a blue banner with an eagle, and a yellow banner with a badger. A long table with teachers sat at the end of them. In front of the table was a stool with an old decrepit hat on top of it. 

"Alright, everyone. I'm going to call out your last name or first name depending on how hard the first one is to announce." Mr.Murphy looked down at the clipboard and his eyes visibly widened. Mr.Murphy sighed, "Thank you, Emma, for having a last name that starts with A and having the hardest pronunciation in the history of the world."

Emma rolled her eyes but walked up with grace and dignity, one could tell she was used to this reaction when it came to her name. The hat is placed on her head and without much thought screamed Ravenclaw. She walked over to the table of cheering Ravenclaws and sat down. 

"Samatha." The black curly-headed girl from the boat. The girl looks goth. How? No clue. Especially since everyone is wearing the exact same outfit. She sat on the stool. The hat was placed on her head and without hesitation shouted Slytherin! She walked off and joined the Slytherins.

"Alexandria." a short blonde girl with glasses and an aura of pure knowledge walks up to the stool. The hat is placed on her head. It took ten minutes before the house was chosen. Alexandria and the hat had their faces scrunched up in an argumentative stance. The hat said Gryffindor with the voice of a soldier who just won the war. Alexandria walked to the Gryffindor table with a deflated look of defeat. 

"Bree." Her excitement for her sorting electrified the air. The hat let out a huff of contemplation before shouting out Ravenclaw.

"Shawn." He walked as if his joints were superglued shut, prohibiting him from movement. The hat is placed on his head and shouts out Gryffindor.

"Kennedy." Kennedy walks up to the stool, and the hat is placed atop her head. Ravenclaw the hat called out confidently. Stephen was very proud of himself and shouted more loudly than he should have.

"I fucking told you so!" As soon as the words left his mouth he moved spots leaving someone else in his place. 

"Who said that?!?!" The Headmaster, a woman in her mid-fifties with white striped black hair. Her glasses stuck at the end of her nose and gray robes trailing her like a cloud of misery. Sebastian thinks quickly and points to the dark-haired boy next to him.

"He said it !"

"What no I didn't !"

"You what is your name?" The headmaster said.

"Dave, Dave Smith."

"Well, Dave, after the sorting come see me in my office."

"But I didn't-"

"No expectations. Mr. Murphy, please continue."

Mr. Murphy eyed the headmaster. He looked at Stephen and Sebastian with curiosity and humor. He turned his face into a forced frown and continued.

"Andy." 

Andy is caught off guard by this, he was making friendship bracelets and was finishing tying off the last one. Before Andy goes on stage he hugs everyone who was on the boat with him giving them each a friendship bracelet.

He walks on stage wondering what his house is going to be. Before he reaches the hat, the hat has an answer. Hufflepuff!

"What? I'm like ten feet away from you how could you know?"

"Everything about you screams Hufflepuff. You have been at Hogwarts a solid ten and a half minutes and you already have made friendship bracelets. I'm a talking hat, but I'm not blind."

"Touche good sir." Andy walks off stage and sits by some other very confused Hufflepuff's. 

"Okay, Cameron!" A boy with black hair and glasses and the aesthetic of a gay theater kid walks up to the stool. The hat sits on his hat for a minute before declaring him a Hufflepuff.

"Matthew. Let's see if we can get three in a row." A blonde boy with glasses and a Green Bay Packers robe (The football team) walks up to the hat. Yet again the hat screams Hufflepuff.

"Boom! Okay, let's see the next one is gonna be Ravenclaw for sure-"

"Mr. Murphy!"

"Yes, headmaster. Abby." Sebastian's face went flush with embarrassment, Stephen gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Sebastian hated his birth name. He walked up to the stage with his head low. The stage was eerily quiet when he went on stage. The hat was placed on his and the hat said Gryffindor and Sebastian went to the Gryffindor table.

"Savanna." This time it was Stephen's turn to be embarrassed. His face flushed with anger. _ I hate my mom _ . Stephen walked in clomping steps to the stage. Almost as if to dare anyone to say anything about him and his brother. The hat is placed on his head and Slytherin is quickly called.

Of course, others were called on stage after them. But even they remember the sorting of those before them better than their own. These kids look normal by themselves. 

Mr. Murphy looked out at the tables and heard bits and pieces of their conversation. At Gryffindor table he could hear Alexandria, Abby, and Shawn:

"Alexa, do you know a spell that can make me float and can you do it?" Shawn was looking up at the Gryffindor banner which worried Mr. Murphy slightly.

"What are you planning?"

"Well, Sebastian if you must know I'm planning on floating to the Gryffindor banner and swinging like Tarzan." 

"Yeah, I know a floating spell." Sebastian and Shawn both try to interrupt each other. Shawn to give her encouragement and Sebastian to give a warning against it. Alexa silenced them with a hand. "But I'm not gonna use it."

Shawn let out a sigh of disappointment and Sebastian was relieved. "Yet," Alexa said mischievously and already plotting how this could help her overthrow the government.

Mr.Murphy chuckled a bit at the conversation. He has been a teacher for 7 and 1/2 years and the students keep getting funnier as the teachers descend further into insanity (especially after the Potters). At the Ravenclaw table Emma, Kennedy, and Bree are having a similar conversation.

"Is it just me or does there seem to be a lot of twins here?" Kennedy said pensively.

"I don't know man, I'm just trying to take over the government."

"Sounds fun."

"No overthrowing the government until you finish your food is done, and yes Kennedy twins are more common here in the magical world than the muggle world, so there probably does appear to be more." Said Emma before trying to correct Bree's posture.

Slytherin was more awkward than funny. 

"Hi I'm Stephen... well my first name is Savanna but my real name is Stephen." Stephen holds out his hand waiting for Sam to shake it... She fist bumps Stephen's open palm and continues eating. Sam apparently doesn't like handshakes. 

"Well um, what classes are you excited for?"

"I don't know man. A week ago Mr. Murphy showed up and told me and my twin that we were witches. Next thing you know Alexa is teaching me how to make a death potion."

"Well, I'm excited about potions!" That conversation quickly dissolved from classes to purebloods and somehow ended up at Satan; who they then decided only operated in the summery days of May.* 

The Hufflepuff table's conversation is slightly more normal.

"So you two are twins?" Andy asked, already making friendship bracelets in Matthew and Cameron's favorite colors.

"Yep, I'm the oldest!"

"By three minutes!"

"That is still older!"

"Yeah, I'm going to have agreed with Matt on this one. Three minutes is still three whole minutes." Andy finished making Mattews and Cameron's bracelets and started making more bracelets.

"Well, I'm a better musician than you !"

"Take that back!"

As the night went on and the kids were full. They all went off to bed

*That is an actual conversation we have had.

* * *

Expect for dumb ones. While Sam is sleeping peacefully in her four-poster bed, Stephen is in the commons lying on the couch. He is surrounded by empty bottles. The bottles used to have a mixture of Absinthe and Whiskey. Stephen made some before leaving the house and is trying to drown his demons quickly and efficiently.

Bree and Emma were asleep. Kennedy had slept for an hour and a half before waking up and started reading while listening to music.

Matthew, Cameron, and Andy are sitting and playing Uno while the rest of Hufflepuff is asleep. Sometime during the night Andy, Matt, Cameron, would go down to the kitchen and get snacks. The house-elves would always remember the boy who gave them each a multi-colored bracelet. Not to free them( None of the elves wanted to be free and bracelets are an accessory) but just to show them they were loved. They also wouldn't forget the boys who introduced them to musicals.

Alexa and Sebastian sat on the floor making a map of the school and its secret entrances. Shawn was asleep in the chair. They barely moved from their spots. Alexa only moved once. She had noticed a phoenix outside and let it in. She fed it and the phoenix looked appreciative before flying out the open window.

But that was the last time this school would see peace with these assholes here. It all started in potions with Slytherin and Gryffindor(Like it always does, seriously stop putting them together for one of the most dangerous classes). 

The potions master, who was a power-hungry fifty-year-old man. He was power-hungry in the sense that he only wanted to be called the Potions Master and was an epic douchebag. He had given them an assignment. To make a simple potion, Florscere, which helps crops and flowers grow. The instruction was on the board and seemingly nothing could go wrong.

"Ugh! I have to make these all the time at home." Stephen said then snuck a sip of his flask. "I don't wanna make this."

The potion master heard this and smacked him on the back of the head with his wand.

"You must because you haven't been doing it right!"

"What?"

"Since you haven't been doing it by my instructions it isn't right. No more questions." Stephen drank from his flask again.

"Well, he is an asshole, so we are going to do this my way. Light the cauldron I'm gonna get ingredients."

"You can't tell me what to do Stephen!" Sam says as she lights the cauldron anyway. Sam was merely reminding Stephen that she is a strong independent woman capable of handling herself without instructions of a man.

Alexa and Sebastian are having a similar issue.

"I don't wanna make this. I already know how to do this." 

"Same." Alexa suddenly had an idea, "Hey let’s both get our cauldrons out, and you can help me make a new potion while making this potion at the same time. That way if shit goes down I'll be getting in trouble."

"Okay, that sounds fair."

Time passes and Stephen stands in front of the teacher who is beaming with pride.

"See what did I tell you," the potions master rustled Stephens's hair, "I'm glad you learned that my way is the best way," Stephen smirks because he did almost the exact opposite of "His way." Yet the potion was arguably the same or even better. The teacher walked away.

"Fucking dick wad," Stephen said under his breath. The teacher turns around in fury.

"What did you say!"

"I said you had the body of a god! " Stephen regretted saying this.

"Oh, thank you." The potions master gave Stephen a look of invitation.

"Goddammit, why do I always have creepy pedophiles."

"I don't know man, that kinda seems like a personal problem."

"If only I could attract girls like that."

Across the room, a loud explosion could be heard from Sebastian and Alexa's table. An angry potions master rushes toward the table. Alexa and Sebastian's hair is slightly smoking.

"Who did this?!?"

"I did." Alexa looked at the teacher straight in the eyes.

"You are in a heap of trouble young lady! The potion doesn't even have explosive ingredients!"

"I know I was making my own potion."

"What! What's wrong with this potion?!"

"A multitude of things. Such as the fact literally, everyone in this classroom knows how to make it without even looking. The way this potion is made is a generally weak potion and there are better ways to make it. "

"How dare you insult my potion! You get detention!" He walks away from the table smoking slightly out the ears.  _ The nerve of kids today _ he thinks. But Sebastian being equally as loud as his brother accidentally shouts:

"Holy fuck you got detention already?!"

"You get detention too Abby," He said before throwing himself in the chair suddenly feeling very tired.

"Hey, it looks like your brother got detention."

"Your sister also got detention." Stephen pulled two flasks out of his robe and handed the less full one to Sam. 

"I'm not drinking that."

"Why not?"

"Because someone accidentally drank from that flask this morning and passed out."

"Wussy."

Trouble seemed to follow them. As Stephen and Sam walked down the hall for charms with the Ravenclaws, a pureblood supremacist decided that he would like to die. 

"It's a shame they let mudbloods in Slytherin. They'll never be as powerful." Sam stopped and turned around.

"What the fuck did you say?"

"You know exactly what I said mudblood."

The Pureblood Slytherin saw the anger flashing in Sam's eyes as he tried to reach for his wand. But that is the last thing he remembered before Sam punched him furiously in the face.

"Is this powerful enough for you now!"

Most friends would pull Sam off of the poor child. Stephen did not. Hell, he wanted to join Sam in the punching of dynamic douche bags. But he didn't for several reasons. Number 1) Sam wanted to prove she was better than a pureblood and joining would completely undermine her purpose. Number 2) Stephen would quite possibly die. Stephen would probably be punched in the face and would die. So instead he took pictures and drank his super alcoholic cocktail (Whiskey, Absinthe, and Rum. Two more of these and he would be hammered for at least thirty minutes.) Stephen learned one thing about Sam. If she gets too mad she will kill a bitch.

Mr.Murphy ran down the hall pulling Sam off of the boy. 

"Jesus christ you really taught him a lesson didn't you?"

"I did. Are you guys gonna expel me?"

"No, I don't think so." Mr.Murphy looked down at the boy who wasn't ~that~ badly beaten. He had two black eyes, a busted lip and a ~possibly~ broken nose. He also thought his ribs were broken. "No, in Hogwarts you literally have to kill a student, sometimes not even that, to be expelled. Plus he kinda deserved it. So I'm gonna give you detention. And Stephen?" Mr.Murphy waited a minute to make sure he got the right name. Stephen nodded. "Try not to let Sam kill a student okay?"

"Yes, sir," Stephen said. Mr.Murphy left leaving an almost drunk Stephen and a very prideful Sam. 

"Looks like you have detention."

"Yep totally worth it."

At the same time in the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor shared herbology class, Cameron, Andy, and Matthew hatched a plan to get themselves in trouble.

"I bet I can sing louder than a mandrake can scream," Cameron said, which should obviously cue you into what led to their troubles.

"I'm sure you can but do you know what I want to do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Play my clarinet."

"I WANT TO DANCE!" Andy said with the usual enthusiasm. 

They were all riding the same brain wave, and it did not take long for the rational thinking train to fall off the tracks. Cameron was singing _Dear Theodosia _from _Hamilton the all American Musical _to a mandrake. Matthew was providing background music and Andy was dancing and living his best life. It is important to mention that they were all standing on a table. Sebastian, Alexa, and Shawn were watching them. Their earmuffs firmly pressed against their ears. 

The teacher called Miss. Radish ironically came in fuming. Yet there was very little she could do. That is because she didn't say "Don't sing Hamilton to a mandrake with musical stylings and background performers." So instead her face went radish red and she sputtered out.

"De-ten-sion." Before class continued as normal. Andy was a little distraught since this was the first time he got in trouble but he managed.

In the potion classroom with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, the potions master was yet again screaming. This time at Bree and Kennedy. 

"You tried to make poison!?!?!"

"Yeah, you never know when you're gonna need poison." Bree puffed out her chest to assert her dominance.

"You never are gonna need poison!"

"You have to stay prepared man." Kennedy adjusted her glasses and looked up at him not particularly caring at the moment.

"All of you have detention. Even you Emma."

"What did I do? I wasn't a part of this."

"Because I know you. I literally went to your eleventh birthday party. You are supposed to be responsible. Since that must have slipped your mind you have detention. Hopefully, that will set you straight."

Bree's eyes glazed over with anger. 

"That's bullshit!"

"It's alright Bree." Kennedy placed a hand on her shoulder, "We will get revenge on him eventually."

"I know that it helped but you shouldn't have said that so ominously," Emma said.

* * *

Later on, when the day was finally nearing its end and Stephen’s confidence was through the roof, it was his turn to get it to trouble. The teacher had left. There is an unspoken rule at Hogwarts. Don't get on the brooms while the teacher is out. Well screw that, most kids don't listen to that drivel. Everyone does it, especially after the Potters (well Harry Potter that is). So Stephen got on his broom and flew. Stephen was actually a particularly good flyer; which is probably the only reason why he wasn't expelled straight away. When Stephen noticed that Mrs. Broom barreling towards him his feet safely hit the ground.

"Mr. Mrs.? Savanna, what are you doing?"

"Currently standing here at the moment ma'am."

"What were you doing up there ?" She pointed to a random part of the sky that happened to have the sun in it.

"Oh. I couldn't go up there. I would burn up."

"Stop back talking to me!"

"I'm not back talking to you! See," Stephen turned his back towards her. " This is back talking because my back is towards you."

"Detention young Man? Lady? THING!" Mrs. Broom walked in the middle of the circle where the students were formed. She had composed herself and was ready to be smiley and happy. "All right everyone on your brooms."

Everyone got on their brooms....everyone except Shawn.

"Get. On. Your. Broom."

"No."

"Whatever is the matter, child? Nothing will hurt you." 

"Gravity begs to differ."

"Well, you get detention. Along with the rest of the troublemakers like you."

"How do detentions at Hogwarts even work?" Sam asked. She is used to muggle detentions, not this shit.

"Well, here we assign a teacher for detention every night. If a teacher has a request to see you will go to them but if not you go to the designated teacher. The designated teacher for tonight is the potions master."

And for whatever reason everyone with detention that night began to giggle.

In the potions classroom, everyone finally meets. The potion master is rubbing his temples while sitting in his chair. Wondering what cruel god would put him through this. The answer is all of them because he is a dick. All of the kids are talking while scrubbing caldrons of course. Since they’re all dramatic little shits, they accuse the system of having a problem. Not realizing they are the problem. The potions master cuts in every once and awhile, tired and distressed.

In order of speaking it goes; Alexandria, Kennedy, Bree, Cameron, Andy, Stephen, Shawn, Sam, Sebastian, Emma, Sam. The conversation goes as follows:

"You try to make a potion, try to better your education, you get detention. "

"You almost blew up my classroom."

"You try to prepare for the future."

"Try to protect yourself."

"You could have killed everyone!"

"You try to live your dreams."

"Make new friends."

"Make music."

"Shoot for the sky and reach your full potential."

"Try not to die."

"Prove a point."

"Socialize and learn."

"Is there a reason you are all being so dramatic?" Just like that, the dramatic monologue was over.

"Oh, Emma there is always a reason to be dramatic."

"There is just one thing I don't get," Bree stopped scrubbing her caldron. "I understand why all of us got detention; Expect Shawn's."

"Hold on a second bitch. I didn't want to die! You guys were just being stupid!"

"We are in a magical castle! Do you know how hard it would be to die here? You are the stupid one!"

"Take that back!"

Again if they were wired normally they wouldn't have fought. But they are not, so they fought. After a chorus of 'stops' and 'let me at' em. Kennedy and Stephen had Bree and Shawn in their grasps again. After they stopped struggling Kennedy and Stephen had dropped them.

"See," Stephen said, "We can all get along."

And just like that, the potions master snapped. He was in the presence of children who, swore whether or not a teacher was there, fought, didn't listen to instructions, tried to make poison, tried to blow up a cauldron, and he is pretty sure the cute boy is drinking out of a flask.

"You- I-" His face went red and lacks.

"It's okay, take your time," Emma said with only the slightest bit of scorn.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Stay here." The potions master left, leaving the soft echo of his footfalls down the hall. What was he thinking?

"Wait is he actually gonna leave us here?" Sam stopped scrubbing her caldron. "I feel like this is a trick."

"Or a conspiratory ploy that might lead us into an illusionary ruse," Alexandria said.

"Now Alexa there is no reason to be a human dictionary," Shawn said

"But you can play  _ Despacito _ ." Shawn and Bree laughed before high fiving each other. This would be one of the only times they had physical contact that didn't involve punching.

"RAGAZZI!" Emma called attention to herself, "We need to go, this is our chance!"

"Oh yeah." Everyone besides Emma said. Emma is yet again holding all the brain cells.

"God, you guys are idiotas."

Everyone ran out the door. Stephen took the lead for he was more athletic than almost any of them.

"KEEP UP BROTHER!!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BROTHER!!!"

Stephen laughed and Kennedy weaved her way up to run beside Stephen. Will not really beside, a foot back and slightly to the right of Stephen.

"Stephen, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Well, you and Sebastian are both biological boys. But your legal names are like hardcore girl names so what's up with that?" Kennedy spoke a little too fast and was slightly winded as they ran. She kept running for the pure sake of determination.

"Well you see, our mother was 100% sure we were gonna be girls. She bought all pink everything and only thought of fucking girl names. So after she had expelled us from her body, she said 'fuck it.' Because she was too damn lazy, so she just gave us the names she originally planned on giving us." Stephen said all of this very quickly with a huge amount of intensity yet he never ran out of breath. Kennedy didn't if she wanted to kill him, learn his workout regimen or both.

As they went up the stairs they heard the steady footfalls of the potions master behind them. Everything was fine, then Cameron and Matthew tripped. At the same time, Kennedy and Stephen had an idea. They shared a look. It was like they had a telepathic conversation.

Stephen dived for Matthew, Kennedy dived for Cameron. The potion master is inches behind them. Kennedy and Stephen punch the potions master in the nuts while cradling the two boys. They transfer the boys into the firemen position, then start booking it while the potions master is in pain. They finally catch up to the group.

"Everyone quickly to the Ravenclaw tower!" Emma leads them and soon enough they are in front of the Ravenclaw tower door.

The silver knocker's eyes flutter open and in a wise old voice pensively asked: "Where is the end?"

As everyone one was wondering what the fuck that meant Matthew and Andy realized the answer at the same time.

"The end is where the beginning is not!"

"Nicely done Hufflepuffs. You may enter." The door opens to an elegantly styled open room. The door closes behind them. Alexa is only a tad bit stressed.

"OKAY WHAT NEXT?!?"

Everyone looks at Alexa and shushes her.

"Sorry, okay, what's next?

"Well, Alexa we wait and try not to die!" Cameron accidentally knocked over a vase. 

"Fuck we're dead."

The door is being bashed in now, by a presumably very pissed off potions master.

"Stop that Gerald you know the rules."

"Don't call me that! What's the fucking question?!"

"What is wise and brave yet misbehaves?"

"I don't know! Let me in!"

"You shall not enter the home of the wise, especially if a riddle is your demise."

As the potion master continues to curse out the door. Bree beckons the group towards her. She points her wand at a plane of glass and the glass disappears. Everyone leaves the Ravenclaw tower and gingerly walks on the sloped roof. Bree put the window planes back up and then everyone immediately started running. 

Suddenly the whole group stopped. There was a missing chunk of the roof that they needed to get across but they couldn't walk around it. They would have to jump. Everyone jumped across except Shawn and Andy.

"What are you guys doing?" Alexa called them.

"I can't do it!" 

Andy and Shawn both stared at the empty space in front of them. A hundred gruesome ways to die and this would be one of the worst. They had just made friends and felt accepted now they were going to die.

"Hey, Shawn, don't worry I'll catch you," Stephen then tugged his brother forward. "And Seb will catch you, Andy."

"Yeah, I'll catch you!" Sebastian and Stephen hold out their outstretched arms.

"Can we get a countdown, please." They both swallowed hard and then the countdown began.

_ ONE _

They took a breath.

_ TWO _

They closed their eyes.

_ THREE _

They leaped into their outstretched arms and they were running again. The group is running when Alexa slips. Stephen reached out but he was too late. She had slipped and was plummeting. It was quiet. The group had stopped moving. They heard a gush of wind and saw a group of golden feathers. Alexa was being carried by a phoenix.

"Guys I may have accidentally befriended a phoenix."

"How the fuck do you accidentally befriend a goddamn phoenix?" Cameron screams this at the top of his lungs. A sudden shattering of glass comes from behind them. A very angry potions master is behind them.

"Oh fuck!"

The phoenix gently set Alexa down and began to attack the potions master. The group took this as the proper time to get the fuck out of dodge. They ran to the other tower as fast as they could. Stephen was there first and gave a boost to Shawn, Bree, Matthew, and Cameron. He tried to give a boost to Kennedy but she ignored him. Then helped him up. Sebastian helped up Andy and Sam. Though at first Sam looked at him and said:

"While I don't need help from a male, and completely capable of partaking in physical activity. But at the same time, I hate physical activity."

They helped Alexa and Emma up while Bree made an entryway. Everyone entered including the phoenix which began grooming Alexa's hair.

"I'm gonna call him Sherbert." Emma's head whipped around like a flash. It does that whenever she hears an extremely bad idea.

"YOU'RE KEEPING HIM?!?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"You have no idea how to care for him!"

"Yeah, I do!"

"Guys." Cameron tried to get everyone's attention. Their eyes were locked on to Emma and Alexa. "GUYS!" Everyone looked over. "Yeah Hi. I don't mean to stress anybody out but, GRYFFINDORS GHOST IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE."

"SHIT." Stephen proceeded to chug the rest of his flask. Emma slapped him on the back of the head and corrected her posture.

"Buongiorno, Sir. Nick." Emma smiled in the most host worthy manner.

"You know what you're doing is extremely reckless right? That's coming from me and that's saying something."

"But we aren't doing anything." Matthew but on his Hufflepuff charm. "Whatever gave you that impression?"

"I'm dead, not dumb. I have dealt with the Weasley kids, I have dealt with the Marauders, I have dealt with multiple Blacks and Potters. I can tell when people are being reckless and you kids take the reckless cake. You're escaping from detention."

"Well, shit!" Sam waved her arms in a particularly violent manner. "We aren't now!"

Chaos erupted as all the children thought about their punishments.

"Wait, a minute guys. You aren't in trouble." They instantly got quiet. "We have an expectation here at Hogwarts chosen especially for kids like you. So you are safe from me. Doesn't mean the potions master won't try. I would find another place to stay."

"The Forbidden Forest!!!" Stephen slurred and pulled a bottle out of his robes. Nearly Headless Nick looked at him like he was crazy.

"And someone please help this child."

"Oh just ignore him." Andy walked closer to Nearly Headless Nick. "He'll be fine in about an hour or so."

They started troubleshooting places to stay.

"Slytherin?"

"No. Hufflepuff? "

"No."

Emma finally spoke up with a good idea.

"The room of requirements idiots!"

"Ohhhh."

"Let's go." And they left Nick in the Gryffindor room. Nick knew that the kids' destiny could go two ways. They could bring Hogwarts to a new era of glory ... or they could destroy Hogwarts, well wasn't his problem, he was dead anyway.

The Room of Requirements fulfilled their every wish. They had their games, beds, posters, and more. They were spread out about the room. Stephen was stomach down on a bean bag.

"I'm bored!"

"How?" Kennedy asked her face buried in a book. "They have all my favorite books here!"

"I don't wanna read!"

Shawn passed his foosball game with Alexa.

"We can play quidditch."

"We don't have enough talented players and you're afraid of heights."

"We can make a contract." Sebastian offhandedly said. He wasn't even sure if anybody heard him. Until he realized they were staring at him. " Or not I was just thinking since we have been through a lot in the last hour or so I..."

"No, it's a really good idea." Stephen was sitting up and pointed at Emma. "could you get a quill and parchment please." Emma got the quill and parchment. The group sat in a circle and a contract was born. They all added to it in one way or another. The list went as follows.

  1. Friends do not hurt friends.
  2. Support each other in everything.
  3. If one of us gets killed, get revenge.
  4. Have each other's backs.
  5. Explain things when we don't understand them.
  6. GO ON ADVENTURES.
  7. But understand when others can't go on adventures.
  8. We fight but we always forgive each other.
  9. We are always welcome in this group.
  10. Let people rant.
  11. Don't kill boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends of the group, everyone else is up for the kill.

Stephen begged for a twelfth to always give your friend alcohol as a greeting rule but it didn't make it through the editing phase. They all signed it and made copies of it and kept it with them from here on out.

They stayed up late that night. It won't be the first or the last time. They will go on more adventures in the next week, month, or year. But this will be the one they look upon the most.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Train Ride Extras!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What everyone else was doing during the train ride to Hogwarts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This mini-chapter was written by Mod: BookMom as a small update until the next chapter.  
Stay safe and wash your hands!

Sebastian hopped onto the Hogwarts Express, right as it started to move away, having been caught up in his parents’ argument. He looked for his brother in the first few compartments before deeming it a lost cause. He did, however, find one of his other friends.

“Heiress Abruzzese,” he said dramatically, going into a deep bow. 

Abruzzese looked up from the window before standing up as well.

“Heir Rhienphal”, she curtised.

At this, they both broke out laughing before Sebastian flopped onto the seat opposite her and she went back to staring out the window. Sebastian looked around before realizing something was missing.

“Where’s Soren?” He asked. He had very rarely seen Emma and her owl separated.

“Hmmm oh. He’s flying to Hogwarts and staying in the owerly tonight. Speaking of, where’s your brother?”

“On the train somewhere but I couldn’t find him.”

"You mean you gave up?"

"Maybe."

After that, the compartment fell into a comfortable silence as Sebastian drew something in a notebook, and Emma began to doze off. Sebastian wasn't surprised, leaving Emma to her thoughts either led to her sleeping or running around excitedly. Unfortunately, the peace didn’t last long. 

Bree and Shawn came into the compartment arguing loudly. Sebastian frantically made gestures for them to be quiet but alas, he was too late.

“I got there first!”

"If you hadn’t blocked me I would-”

“Will you two iditoas _ settle down,” _Emma said while giving the twins her patented death glare.

The twins looked at her in fear, before smartly deciding to save the fighting for after the train ride. Meanwhile, Sebastian just sighed, rudely waking Emma up was a number one way to get on her shit list. With how long they've known each other, you would’ve thought Bree and Shawn learned that by now. 

Sometime after the trolley lady came, Emma went back to sleep, this time taking her glasses off, and Bree and Shawn got into a whispered argument. Sebastian just watched while eating pumpkin pasties, trying to determine a winner and making sure they didn’t wake Emma again.

The relative peace was kept for a while before Sebastian realized that they were nearing Hogwarts, and none of them were in uniform. He quickly woke up Emma and snapped to get Bree and Shawn’s attention.

“We have to get ready, we’re almost there,” He said, already dragging Shwan out of the compartment.

“Good eye,” Emma responded, “We wouldn’t want to get detention on the first day.”

Sebastian nodded before dragging Shawn to the changing rooms that were scattered on the train. By the time he and Shawn got back to the compartment, the girls were changed, and the train was coming to a stop.

* * *

Sam and Asa were bored, their mother had insisted on going to the train station early, and they had been sitting on the train for an hour. Finally, they heard the train whistle and felt it lurch forward. The compartment door slammed open by two boys. One with brown hair and glasses and the other with dark hair wearing a rainbow scarf ran inside the compartment.

“Hey, can we sit here!?” The brown-haired one said.

“Thanks!” said the rainbow scarf boy.

Sam and Asa just stared at them blankly as the train picked up speed.

“Oh sorry about that,” Brown hair kid said sheepishly while rubbing his neck, “I guess we should introduce ourselves, I’m Matthew and that’s Cameron.”

“Heyo!” Cameron said excitedly.

Sam and Asa just looked confused and skeptical about the excitable boys in front of them.

“I’m Asa and this is my sister Sam,” Asa said slowly after an awkward silence filled the compartment. Sam just flipped the boys off.

After that interaction, the compartment fell into an almost comfortable atmosphere. Matthew and Cameron were complaining about some of the more annoying kids that were at their band camp, Asa was writing in a notebook at a speed that would make Hamilton proud, and Sam started to read an old DC comic book. In other words, everyone decided to ignore the others’ existence. 

“Hey have any of you seen a large wolf run by?” This question was asked by a surprisingly calm looking girl with long brown hair that was poking her head into the compartment. There was a boy next to her who was unusually tall and had acne and glasses. Then the sound of loud crashing and fighting drew their attention.

“Oh, there she is come on Eugene lets go grab her.”

The compartment was dead silent as everyone stared at the door the other kids were just at. Then Sam decided to express everyone’s feelings on the matter, how nice of her.

“What. The. Fuck. Was. That?”

The stunned silence stayed in the compartment for a long while until the trolly lady came around with two things, sweets and a warning to get into uniform. The compartment became a scramble of activity as Cameron and Matthew grabbed their stuff and left and Sam and Asa changed into theirs.


End file.
